Twins Arrive!

January 26 – Had to go to the ER because of severe kidney pain, and Dr. Moron tells me the pain in my kidneys is babies pushing on my ribs. I argue. He sends me home with a prescription for T3 after our visit to the ER.

Okay, another day of constant purging. Can't keep anything down. Getting very weak. Wondering if the T3 is making it worse. Rob gives me a bath (he knows I wouldn't possibly go to the hospital after two days of no bathing and puking all over myself); he's a fabulous husband. We go to the scheduled ob visit. Dr. Moron finally agrees that I have elevated protein in urine. He sends me to the hospital to have monitoring and IVs to replenish fluids.

Puking on nurse who's having a heck of a time inserting IV. OMG, can I say THREE effin times she tries to put this 2-gage needle into my normally protruding veins? Finally, I've had it; everything comes up again. Poor, wonderful husband is the receiver of this. I hate myself now.

Dr. Moron returns after hours of more puking. Says tests look suspicious but wants to send me home. Hello?

Dr. Moron finally finds out that my BIL is a surgeon with privs there and decides to keep me for the night. I'm 35 weeks 2 days pregnant.

OMG, they finally give me stadol (sp?), and I'm going to get a decent night's sleep. No, I'm not. Water breaks at midnight. I call Rob. Poor guy's finally gotten into bed after a cocktail or four and has to drive back to the hospital.

2am. I beg for epi since I know I'm going to go fast (since I did with ds). They give it since I've gone from 1cm to 4 in 40 minutes. Much easier than I thought it would be. Dr. Moron says he's leaving because it's going take me hours to progress. Um, hello? Did I just dialate 3 cms in 40 minutes? Okay, now I'm 8cm, so he's gonna stay...

It's 4:02am...

Kealy was so excited to see the world that she came out with her eyes open! It was the most fantastic sight to look down and see her big eyes looking back up at me. Oh, she was face up, as you've probably figured out. They had to use suction.

I want to tell you that I'm so doped up at this point that the nurse has to tell me when I'm contracting. PUSH. Okay, I'm doing that. Evidently, I didn't know quite how hard I am pushing because some of my other body parts decide to bloom down there as well. More about that later.

Luke did not want to leave the comfort of his world! After his sister arrived with her eyes wide open, the doctors had to perform an emergency c-section to deliver him. His cord had descended first (called a prolapsed cord in case you're wondering), so it was impossible to meet him any other way. His dad saw him even before I did. He is such a miracle, and he just doesn’t know how thrilled his dad and I are to finally have him here with us.

Okay, I know I'm shifting tenses. Leave me alone. I'm having babies here.

Back to the other uninvited body parts. OMG, no one ever told me hemis were going to be like this. Not only do I have 4th degree tears in my hooha, and staples across my stretchmark-free belly, I've got hemis growing out my nether region. I can't even begin to tell you how humiliating (and, um, painful) this is as I need help doing anything and every technician (nurse's assistants, I think) has now seen every inch (several times) of what I've been covering up since adolescence!

I never thought I'd be thankful for a catheter. But as I walk around, I have to carry my peebag. How humiliating does this get, anyway? I can't do a number 2 because everything down there hurts. I haven't had the courage to look, but Dr. Wonderful (the ob from the practice that I actually selected) is supposed to visit my staples today. I'm also going to beg him to do the circ as to avoid any problems for poor Luke, seeing's as Dr. Moron cut me crooked, um, crookedly, I mean, I think.

Oh, the picture is at 28 weeks, not 35. Teaching & Technology articles